I wanna live with a cinnamon girl

The realization that I hate minty toothpaste has led me to experiment with some different flavors. The bubblegum flavored Spongebob toothpaste? Didn't really live up to my childhood memories. I've also had vanilla, which tasted okay (and is generally a pretty interesting idea, y'know, in an "affront to God" kind of way), green apple, which was pretty good, oh my god the orange was so foul, and cinnamon, which was probably the best of the bunch. Unlike orange (it still haunts my dreams), cinnamon is a fairly easy flavor to synthesize well, and for this and other reasons, making something taste like red hots is basically a pretty safe bet in my book. I could totally burn dinner or whatever, but I'd be okay with it as long as I had some way of making the food taste sufficiently like red hots.

Oh, I have a poem for you, from the beginning of Jack Pressman's Last Resort:

Gentle, clever your surgeon's hands
God marks for you many golden bands
They cut so sure they serve so well
They save our souls from Eternal Hell
An artist's hands, a musician's too
Give us beauty of color and tune so true
But yours are far the most beautiful to me
They saved my mind and set my spirit free.

-Written by Lobotomy Patient #68,
ca. 1942 (from the archives of James W. Watts III, M.D.)

Suffice it to say, that patient was perfectly calm, Dude.
(Calmer than you are.)