It can cut you like a knife, if the gift becomes the fire
Man so uh just to change the mood a little bit, I think I'm already gonna move on to diatribe number 2.
This one addresses a much more controversial issue, and one with significant social implications.
Razors are so awful.
I've participated in discussions of such matters, and, yes, I realize I'm one of about ten dudes under the age of 45 who uses an electric shaver, but I've always considered it enough for my modest needs. They're pretty good nowadays, what with the swiveling springy heads and 800 whirly blades. And also, I confess, there is some amount of inertia involved; it's what my father shaves with, and it's what I first learned to use. Still I've long harbored a secret suspicion that I was missing out on some sort of ultraclose baby's-behind-esque shave that could only be bestowed upon me by one of the increasingly ridiculous disposable razors out there.
And though I long avoided such a shave (out of a general distaste for effort and the application of sharp objects to my face), it appears that I could not escape my destiny. Long story short, I found myself separated from my shaver and getting scruffier by the minute. So I bought a pack of the most ostentatiously-featured razors I could find and went to work. It was not especially difficult, though I proceeded cautiously, and afterwards I found that it did indeed result in a marginally closer shave. I made a mental note that the extra time, labor, and discomfort might be warranted on special occasions...I might use this razor again someday if I was getting married, or arraigned. However, the comparative closeness of the shave wore off after about 8 hours, which happens to be when the first shards of diamond-cuttingly sharp needlestubble began to pierce their way out of my face. I guess it's a side effect of cutting one's hairs a couple micrometers closer to the skin that these hairs are honed into monofilament weapons of doom.
What the hell is wrong with you people? Do you enjoy agony?
God.
This one addresses a much more controversial issue, and one with significant social implications.
Razors are so awful.
I've participated in discussions of such matters, and, yes, I realize I'm one of about ten dudes under the age of 45 who uses an electric shaver, but I've always considered it enough for my modest needs. They're pretty good nowadays, what with the swiveling springy heads and 800 whirly blades. And also, I confess, there is some amount of inertia involved; it's what my father shaves with, and it's what I first learned to use. Still I've long harbored a secret suspicion that I was missing out on some sort of ultraclose baby's-behind-esque shave that could only be bestowed upon me by one of the increasingly ridiculous disposable razors out there.
And though I long avoided such a shave (out of a general distaste for effort and the application of sharp objects to my face), it appears that I could not escape my destiny. Long story short, I found myself separated from my shaver and getting scruffier by the minute. So I bought a pack of the most ostentatiously-featured razors I could find and went to work. It was not especially difficult, though I proceeded cautiously, and afterwards I found that it did indeed result in a marginally closer shave. I made a mental note that the extra time, labor, and discomfort might be warranted on special occasions...I might use this razor again someday if I was getting married, or arraigned. However, the comparative closeness of the shave wore off after about 8 hours, which happens to be when the first shards of diamond-cuttingly sharp needlestubble began to pierce their way out of my face. I guess it's a side effect of cutting one's hairs a couple micrometers closer to the skin that these hairs are honed into monofilament weapons of doom.
What the hell is wrong with you people? Do you enjoy agony?
God.
posted by Evan at 8:07 PM
4 Comments:
Dude, I think that just happened because you aren't used to it.
I began my shaving career with an electric shaver, and used only an electric shaver for about nine years. When I finally switched to the ... um, manual kind last year, I did it out of laziness - the electric shave always took a long time, and was loud, while the manual shave is quick and quiet.
But like you, I found that I'd grow back some very sharp stubble very quickly. I attribute this to the manual razor actually shaving less closely. Call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure it's true, especially where the beard grows at an angle acute to the face.
Nothing personal Matt, but Adam is my authority on all matters beardly
well, I can't either, so I'm going to say yes
(attention Internet: please don't tell anyone about my pogonotrophic inadequacies)
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