Did you ever know that you're my hero?
A recent shopping trip unexpectedly presented me with the opportunity to indulge a bizarre food craving. Long story short, in case anyone was wondering whether tzatziki was a suitable dipping sauce for buffalo wings, the answer is "oh hell yes." Luckily, the fact that everyone around me is being so damned health-conscious this year means that I am allowed, nay, obligated, to eat such unhealthy foods in the interest of preserving balance in the universe.
Speaking of the importance of balance, I have a new mattress. I'd forgotten how comfortable they can be. Also how large. This thing is seriously thick; if I fell off it, I would probably sustain a mild injury. Heck, a few more inches and I'd have to high-jump my way into bed each night.
So, Alexis recently mentioned several pictures being on someone's Facebook page, and so I decided to check them out. Despite my concerns that the website would have some sort of "geezer detection technology" that would turn me away at the door, I managed to sign up for an account without getting carded. Anyways, the important part of this story comes when I looked at the profile that was created for me (nb: You must also be a member to view it. This is how the scam works, you see. Otherwise you can just take my word for it.). It featured all my sparse information, a section for the photos that I'm not going to upload, and a list of my friends, in which it made the following humorous observation: "Evan has no friends at UCSD." This is very funny to me. It's one thing to not have any photos, or not have any new messages in one's inbox--these are value-neutral observations--but when Facebook tells the Internet that I have no friends, I can positively feel the gleam of digital smugness in its inhuman eye as it icily passes judgment on my social life.
Maybe I am reading too much into this.
Speaking of the importance of balance, I have a new mattress. I'd forgotten how comfortable they can be. Also how large. This thing is seriously thick; if I fell off it, I would probably sustain a mild injury. Heck, a few more inches and I'd have to high-jump my way into bed each night.
So, Alexis recently mentioned several pictures being on someone's Facebook page, and so I decided to check them out. Despite my concerns that the website would have some sort of "geezer detection technology" that would turn me away at the door, I managed to sign up for an account without getting carded. Anyways, the important part of this story comes when I looked at the profile that was created for me (nb: You must also be a member to view it. This is how the scam works, you see. Otherwise you can just take my word for it.). It featured all my sparse information, a section for the photos that I'm not going to upload, and a list of my friends, in which it made the following humorous observation: "Evan has no friends at UCSD." This is very funny to me. It's one thing to not have any photos, or not have any new messages in one's inbox--these are value-neutral observations--but when Facebook tells the Internet that I have no friends, I can positively feel the gleam of digital smugness in its inhuman eye as it icily passes judgment on my social life.
Maybe I am reading too much into this.
posted by Evan at 5:25 PM
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