He stands like a statue, becomes part of the machine
I was down by Kearney Mesa the other day, getting clothes and comics and a game, and, while uncharacteristically searching for hamburgers, I was reminded that there is a Tommy's over there. I confronted my craving with a chili cheeseburger and chili cheese fries, which assaulted my senses, my stomach, and possibly even my values so severely as to satisfy my appetite for the next several days.
Preparations are already underway for this year's Comic-con, and, I thought I'd kick things off on a pessimistic note, with my list of The Four Most Overrated and Uselessly Inconvenient Things To Go To:
1) The Freebie Table: After you get through the long line to pick up your badge, you will find another line squarely in your path. You will naturally be tempted to stand in it, a temptation made ever stronger by the revelation that it leads to the "Freebie Table". Resist this temptation. The freebies in question are advertisements. At the high end, they comprise a wide range of postcards and bookmarks, and at the low end, much flimsier squares of brightly colored paper that vividly bring back the college dining hall experience. You will march past these, dutifully surveying them in order to feel like you've accomplished something by standing in this line, and possibly taking a few, only to discard them that evening. At the end of the line you will probably also get a small poster for a movie that you are not interested in, and, if you are lucky, a bag for putting your squares of paper in.
2) Preview Night: Preview Night is a lot like the other four days, except that it lasts for about two hours, has longer lines, and offers a small fraction of the things to do. Allegedly there are additional "freebies" being given out, and other "comic-con exclusives." You are no doubt already wary of the first phrase. By the end of this weekend, you will be wary of the second.
3) The Masquerade: First, there is something that needs to be cleared up. The Masquerade is not exactly a masquerade in any sort of traditional sense. Instead, think "talent show," where the talent here is "wearing a costume." This can actually be reasonably entertaining. To watch it, you have two options. Option 1 is to sit outside for a while in the line to come inside and wait uncomfortably at a table for a while, to watch Phil Foglio smirk for a while. You will be watching a video of what is happening somewhere else, and the acoustics will be terrible. Option 2 is to watch a recording of the highlights on Sunday. Despite having never pursued Option 2, I am confident that it is superior in every possible way.
4) Spike and Mike's: This is not actually funny. I'm sorry. Yes, I did see that one cartoon three years ago; that was pretty funny. Everything since then has not been, including the three sequels to that one funny cartoon.
Preparations are already underway for this year's Comic-con, and, I thought I'd kick things off on a pessimistic note, with my list of The Four Most Overrated and Uselessly Inconvenient Things To Go To:
1) The Freebie Table: After you get through the long line to pick up your badge, you will find another line squarely in your path. You will naturally be tempted to stand in it, a temptation made ever stronger by the revelation that it leads to the "Freebie Table". Resist this temptation. The freebies in question are advertisements. At the high end, they comprise a wide range of postcards and bookmarks, and at the low end, much flimsier squares of brightly colored paper that vividly bring back the college dining hall experience. You will march past these, dutifully surveying them in order to feel like you've accomplished something by standing in this line, and possibly taking a few, only to discard them that evening. At the end of the line you will probably also get a small poster for a movie that you are not interested in, and, if you are lucky, a bag for putting your squares of paper in.
2) Preview Night: Preview Night is a lot like the other four days, except that it lasts for about two hours, has longer lines, and offers a small fraction of the things to do. Allegedly there are additional "freebies" being given out, and other "comic-con exclusives." You are no doubt already wary of the first phrase. By the end of this weekend, you will be wary of the second.
3) The Masquerade: First, there is something that needs to be cleared up. The Masquerade is not exactly a masquerade in any sort of traditional sense. Instead, think "talent show," where the talent here is "wearing a costume." This can actually be reasonably entertaining. To watch it, you have two options. Option 1 is to sit outside for a while in the line to come inside and wait uncomfortably at a table for a while, to watch Phil Foglio smirk for a while. You will be watching a video of what is happening somewhere else, and the acoustics will be terrible. Option 2 is to watch a recording of the highlights on Sunday. Despite having never pursued Option 2, I am confident that it is superior in every possible way.
4) Spike and Mike's: This is not actually funny. I'm sorry. Yes, I did see that one cartoon three years ago; that was pretty funny. Everything since then has not been, including the three sequels to that one funny cartoon.
posted by Evan at 9:31 PM
9 Comments:
Option 3: See the Masq where it is actually being held?
Given that Option 1 is considered overflow seating, I'm going to assume that Option 3 is basically the same deal, only with possibly better acoustics and roughly a couple orders of magnitude more waiting.
Actually, I guess this year it's moot, since we'll be going to the CAC dinner instead, right?
I've never done any of these things except Preview Night, and that was more because I was helping the Dumbrella doggs set up their booth. Does this mean I have been on the right track all along?
Are you gloating, Jon? I won't allow gloating on my blog.
But yeah, I guess most of those things are pretty easy to miss, except for the freebie table line, which is really psychologically difficult to stay out of...it's like some kind of behavioral singularity: just after you survive a really long line, you're practically already in a comparatively short line that everyone else in your last line is now standing in, and which you might or might not be able to enter the con without standing in, and rumors being passed between the befuddled newcomers fail to clarify this point, but they do suggest that this is where you get the free stuff.
So, for managing to not stand in that line, I salute you.
Yes, it is amazing how bad the sequels to Here Comes Dr. Tran have been. When I learned (last year) that the Spike and Mike's screening actually encourages raucous derision, I knew it was time to leave it behind. However, there is a different thing---Don Hertzfeld and Mike Judge's Animation Show---which has many excellent cartoons, and would you believe it you can actually watch them from beginning to end. WIthout an infantile Vasquez yelling cusses for his cronies to laugh at.
oh wow, somehow I had completely forgotten about the Vasquez thing.
I am open to the idea of this Animation Show, though I couldn't find any information about when it would be happening--god the website is so impenetrable. While looking, however, I discovered that the CAC is being moved to one of the big rooms: 30AB, which seats 330 people. Weird.
Yes. That website is so bad, and it is that bad every single year.
Could you find a schedule of events at all? I couldn't. If you did, would you send it to me, or at least point me in the direction?
Yeah, I couldn't either. It's probably still too early for them to have finalized the schedule yet, but I really can't be sure in that hypertext labyrinth.
Post a Comment
<< Home