Where you goin' with that gun in your hand
I read two more comics: Human Target and Alpha Centauri: Power of the Mind Worms. Human Target was so unbelievably good. AC:PotMW was not especially; I'd say 75% of its quality derived from being a comic about Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri, and another 10% came from its title.
So, as the San Diegan segment of my audience is well aware, I am the reigning Dude Who Has Been Suckered Into Always Doing The Philosophy Social Hours. This role is twofold: asking gsa to give us money, and going to Trader Joe's once a month to buy some food. I used to assign the latter task to other people, but I've got the routine down to a pretty exact science, so it's easier to do this myself. Being able to walk into that store and come out with exactly $35 worth of foodstuffs is, in fact, one of my few practical talents, although its somewhat specialized nature limits its marketability.
Some of the food selections remain fixed; for instance, there will be hell to pay if I ever forget the ginger lemon cookies or the tortilla chips and Chunky salsa (it bears mentioning that the quality of TJ's salsa varies inversely with the sophistication of the adjectives that adorn it. Chunky is the best, distantly followed by Chipotle and Double-Roasted. The Roasted Garlic, Fire-Roasted Green, and Habanero Lime are scarcely edible, and upon catching sight of the Black Bean & Corn and Spicy, Smoky Peach flavors, I laugh aloud at the the good trader's audacity). Others vary; for example, I'm constantly fiddling with such low-priority items as the candy and drinks in search of one that will prove unexpectedly popular.
Which brings me to my conundrum. Cheese. It is impossible to figure out the best cheese selection. It's as though the Gordian knot itself were a tangled mass of string cheese. I usually get two kinds of cheese, one brie (the 62% Suprême is the only one worth getting (62% what, I don't know, but judging from the nutritional information, I am guessing it is "62% Saturated Fat")) and one of something else. The problem is that the brie disappears in the first 15 minutes of the social hour, and a significant amount of the other cheese is usually left over. People really like brie. I have tried getting something brie-like as the other cheese, such as cambozola, or champignon, herb, or pesto brie--these receive little more than the suspicious sneers of those who walk past such abominations on the way to partake of their unadulterated brethren. The only cheese that came close to holding its own against this pasteurized Juggernaut was some sort of cheddar with caramelized onions, which, though delicious, is no longer available. I have even tried foregoing the other cheese entirely and getting twice as much brie, but then people just eat it twice as quickly, precariously balancing slices the size of their fist on a dainty wafer of melba toast. I guess the smallness of the normal wedge of cheese is the only thing keeping their consumptive urges under control...as such, I have half a mind to get several small pieces of brie, perhaps scattering them around the department and dispatching everybody on The Great Dairy Scavenger Hunt.
Actually...I may try that. I'll keep you posted.
So, as the San Diegan segment of my audience is well aware, I am the reigning Dude Who Has Been Suckered Into Always Doing The Philosophy Social Hours. This role is twofold: asking gsa to give us money, and going to Trader Joe's once a month to buy some food. I used to assign the latter task to other people, but I've got the routine down to a pretty exact science, so it's easier to do this myself. Being able to walk into that store and come out with exactly $35 worth of foodstuffs is, in fact, one of my few practical talents, although its somewhat specialized nature limits its marketability.
Some of the food selections remain fixed; for instance, there will be hell to pay if I ever forget the ginger lemon cookies or the tortilla chips and Chunky salsa (it bears mentioning that the quality of TJ's salsa varies inversely with the sophistication of the adjectives that adorn it. Chunky is the best, distantly followed by Chipotle and Double-Roasted. The Roasted Garlic, Fire-Roasted Green, and Habanero Lime are scarcely edible, and upon catching sight of the Black Bean & Corn and Spicy, Smoky Peach flavors, I laugh aloud at the the good trader's audacity). Others vary; for example, I'm constantly fiddling with such low-priority items as the candy and drinks in search of one that will prove unexpectedly popular.
Which brings me to my conundrum. Cheese. It is impossible to figure out the best cheese selection. It's as though the Gordian knot itself were a tangled mass of string cheese. I usually get two kinds of cheese, one brie (the 62% Suprême is the only one worth getting (62% what, I don't know, but judging from the nutritional information, I am guessing it is "62% Saturated Fat")) and one of something else. The problem is that the brie disappears in the first 15 minutes of the social hour, and a significant amount of the other cheese is usually left over. People really like brie. I have tried getting something brie-like as the other cheese, such as cambozola, or champignon, herb, or pesto brie--these receive little more than the suspicious sneers of those who walk past such abominations on the way to partake of their unadulterated brethren. The only cheese that came close to holding its own against this pasteurized Juggernaut was some sort of cheddar with caramelized onions, which, though delicious, is no longer available. I have even tried foregoing the other cheese entirely and getting twice as much brie, but then people just eat it twice as quickly, precariously balancing slices the size of their fist on a dainty wafer of melba toast. I guess the smallness of the normal wedge of cheese is the only thing keeping their consumptive urges under control...as such, I have half a mind to get several small pieces of brie, perhaps scattering them around the department and dispatching everybody on The Great Dairy Scavenger Hunt.
Actually...I may try that. I'll keep you posted.
posted by Evan at 2:22 AM
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