Everybody knows that the dice are loaded

Augh...So much grading left...

So I was recently reminded of aleatoric literature and music etc, and decided that one area where these methods have not been sufficiently exploited is in recipes. The following represents a very modest attempt to remedy the situation:


Aleatoric Highball

In order to determine your base spirit, flip a coin, then cover your eyes and throw a 12-sided die into your liquor cabinet.
If the coin comes up tails, the bottle that the die is closest to when it comes to rest will be your base spirit.
If the coin comes up heads, the first bottle that the die hits will be your base spirit. Since your eyes were covered, you might need an assistant at this point in the drink's preparation. If you are unable to find a willing assistant, or if you or your assistant is unable to determine which bottle was hit first, pour yourself a glass of sherry; The End.

Otherwise, pour 2 oz of the base spirit into a highball glass. Add a number of ice cubes corresponding to the season of your birth (Spring: 1, Summer: 2, Autumn: 3, Winter: 4). Fill the glass with club soda, unless the current number of minutes past the hour is a prime number, in which case, use ginger ale.

Flip a coin. If it is tails, garnish with a wedge of lime; The End.
If it is heads, garnish with a wedge of lemon and flip again.
If it is heads again, add a maraschino cherry to the garnish and flip again. (If tails comes up here or subsequently, you guessed it...The End)
If it is heads again, add a sugar cube to the drink and gently stir in a dash of bitters, and flip again.
If it is heads again, add something green (other than a lime or olive) to the garnish, and declare "I HAVE SURVIVED THE ALEATORIC GARNISH CHALLENGE."

Enjoy the drink and reflect on the nature of contingency.
Serves: 1